Questioning motives

Early in Jesus' public ministry in Galilee, a leper come to him and begs for healing and this exchange between them takes place;

"If You are willing, You can make me clean." Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, "I am willing; be cleansed." (Mark 1:40-41)

This sick, poor, outcast man is unafraid to reach out and ask. He longs for healing, and to be restored to society. 

Later when Jesus is on pilgrimage in Jerusalem he sees a paralysed man who has been longing for a cure most of his life. (John 5:1-8) He lies alone near a pool reputed for its healing power, without help to benefit from the opportunity of a miracle when it arises. He's not going anywhere, just stuck there despairing, not asking anyone for anything. Jesus approaches him and asks; "Do you want to be well again?" The man makes an excuse for himself, but Jesus orders him; "Get up, pick up your sleeping mat and walk." 

Not for the first time Jesus says this to someone, a man obeys and is cured. (Mark 2:11). The other instance is in Galilee, where the paralysed man has help from his friends to reach Jesus. Immediately the contrast is evident between life with disability in a great urban centre of piety, and in a rural village.

John 5:8-16 reports that the action of Jesus, whether in healing him or in telling him to walk away carrying his bed, is regarded as contentious because it occurs on the Sabbath, as this breaches Sabbath observance rules. The Gospels report seven instances when Jesus heals on the Sabbath, and in three this provokes the same argument. His action is given as one of the reasons why the religious authorities set out to destroy Jesus and his reputation as a teacher and healer. Jesus made it clear that the edicts of the law could not be set aside, yet in this matter the healing imperative took precedence over established pious practise. Later in the day, Jesus sought him out and said to him;

"See you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you." (John 5:14)

Although it might appear superficially to be the case, Jesus would not have associated his physical disability with sin. It was paralysis of mind and spirit that caused him needless suffering, led him to abandon hope and stop asking others for help. He he been asking in a way that invited rejection? In writing about prayer, St James reminds us;

'When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.' (James 4:3)

This is as true in asking of others, as it is in asking God's help. Examining and purifying our motives is essential in the search for wholeness and healing. If asked, God will help us to deepen our self understanding on this journey.

'Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.' (Psalm 26:2)

'Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.' (Ps 139:23)

Confession and healing

In the story of the Fall, the primal couple disregard God's warnings. They are persuaded take and enjoy forbidden fruit. They act freely, naturally without thought for the consequences. Only afterwards does it dawn on them for the first time, that they are exposed and vulnerable. They experience shame, cover their bodies, hide from sight. When found, they make excuses to mask their disobedience. It's a pattern of behaviour that replicates itself in ways more sophisticated than this tale suggests. We can recognise it in ourselves once we become aware things are not right in our lives and no longer feel comfortable with ourselves and our actions.

Awakening to awareness of self, learning how to integrate this into the way we think and act, is part of development from child to adult. It happens in different ways for each person. The original free will act is portrayed in the story as being made in ignorance and with disregard for the consequence. Thinking things through goes no further for them than the prospect of a little pleasure and the excitement of eating forbidden fruit.

When shame and guilt is awakened in us, the first impulse is denial, concealing what we feel. With this comes a sense of isolation and vulnerability, which can also be denied. This state is an obstacle to heartfelt prayer. Formal worship ritual continue routinely, but satisfaction from them wanes. Only when it becomes possible to admit what we feel and honestly expose it to God's compassion, can a genuine sense of release from the burden be experienced.

'My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I did not hide; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"; And You forgave the guilt of my sin.' (Psalm 32:5)

'If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.' (1 John 1:9)

The scriptures contain strong examples of penitential prayers voicing the feelings associated with guilt and shame. Remarkable about some of them is the way the contain reflection on the past, explorations of how and what went wrong in life, to lead to the present intolerable condition. Analysis of causes and effects makes learning possible, and opens the way to restoration and healing. Restoring a person to a right and healthy relationship with themselves, God and others requires this therapeutic analysis. 

Understanding the failures and weaknesses of past generations, does not provide an excuse for present misbehaviour, only a way of identifying and understanding inherited tendencies, in an effort to learn how to avoid repeating old errors. It is important to acknowledge both personal responsibility for sin and one's part in 'social sin', in seeking to make a new start, in the light of a different self-understanding. Hence - 

'We acknowledge our wickedness Lord, and the guilt of our ancestors; we have indeed sinned against you.' (Jeremiah 14:20)

'But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their ancestors--their unfaithfulness and their hostility toward me ... I will remember my covenant with Jacob, my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land.' (Lev 26:40 & 42)

Over centuries the church has offered the sacrament of Absolution, involving confession and spiritual direction to the world. Essentially, it is conversation as a healing art. Modern psychological medicine has taken and systematised this, separating it from relationship to God. The fruitfulness of scientific method in healing people is the criterion by which it may be judged. The church believes that reconciliation with God is an essential dimension of true health and fullness of life.

'Have mercy on me, Lord; heal me, for I have sinned against you.' (Psalm 41:4)